Do you have a drinking problem?

It can be difficult for many young people to admit and accept that we have a problem with alcohol. Sometimes alcohol seems like the solution to our problems, the only thing making life bearable. But if, when we look honestly at our lives, we see that problems seem to occur when we drink — problems at home or school, problems with our health, with our jobs, even with our social lives it is more than likely that we have a drinking problem.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, we have learned that anyone, anywhere, regardless of their per- sonal circumstance, can suffer from the disease of alcoholism. We have also learned that anyone who wants to stop drinking can find help and recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.

You are not alone

 It doesn’t matter whether you are 16 or 60, rich or poor, college graduate or high school dropout, LGBTQ+, a business executive or stay-at-home mom, a patient in a treatment facility, a person in custody, or living on the street. Help is available, but only you can make the decision to ask for it.

If you are a young person and you think you have a drinking problem, you may identify with the experiences shared in these stories. We hope you will discover, as we did, that you are welcome in Alcoholics Anonymous, and that you, too, can find a new freedom and a new happiness in this spiritual way of life.

Some myths and misconceptions about alcoholism

 I can take one drink and get away with it.

While many of us could sometimes take just one drink and not drink again that night or the next day, sooner or later, we’d get drunk again. Just trying to control drinking is a sign of trouble.

I know I have a problem. But I can beat it.

If you are like us, the chances are you can’t beat it alone. Alcoholism is a progressive ill- ness; and if an alcoholic keeps on drinking, the illness will always get worse.

A.A. is for bums and old people.

The illness of alcoholism strikes people of all ages, races and economic situations.

A.A. can and does help people from all walks of life.

What kind of alcoholic are you?

Follow the stories of seven young people as they move from drinking to recovery, telling in their own words what it was like, what happened and what it is like now. These stories represent their experience, strength and hope, and provide a glimpse into how Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

WHAT WE WERE LIKE

 SARA

River Falls, Wisconsin

I am 23 years old; I began drinking when I was My first introduction to A.A. was at 15 years old. For the next eight years I couldn’t put togeth- er more than 60 days of sobriety. I felt I didn’t fit in with the crowd of A.A., as I thought my age and my tattoos made me different. I’d hear people talk about what they lost because of their drink- ing; their families, houses, cars, jobs, you name it… I was in high school — how could I possibly have the same experiences as these people? I thought my only problem was drugs, but when I put down a needle I picked up a bottle. As life went on I began to experience consequences but never associated them with my drinking. I thought my life couldn’t possibly be unmanage- able because of my drinking, and I started to blame anyone or anything else for the way my life was turning out. The losses I had heard people talk about in A.A. started to become a reality for me.

AMANDA

Grants Pass, Oregon

I was raised to believe that alcohol was a way of life. It was only natural that I should pick up my first drink and fall in love. I was fifteen the first time. After my first drink I felt as if there was   a knot in my soul that had somehow loosened. Alcohol, from the start, had become my master. I had a rough time at home. I experienced a lot of abuse and neglect growing up. In the beginning I felt drinking gave me a reprieve from feelings I didn’t understand and memories I wasn’t capable of facing. My decline was a quick one. I was fif- teen when I got pregnant. I had my son and found myself terrified at the prospect of having a child, so I let my family care for him. I needed to drink. By that time alcohol had me tightly gripped. I knew I was choosing alcohol over my child and I just couldn’t muster up enough concern. I had progressed to drinking under the bridge with the homeless men because they drank the way I liked to drink. I continued going to school most days but found it difficult to do my schoolwork with the morning shakes. I couldn’t always find enough alcohol in the mornings to keep them away. I started getting in trouble with the law.

SASHA

Seattle, Washington

“My name is Sasha, and I am an alcoholic,” are not the first words that came to mind when I was 16. I didn’t think that I had a problem with alcohol when I was that age. I was just doing what every- one else was doing. I was in high school, trying to figure out who I was and trying to fit in. When I drank, I found my niche; I felt that I belonged.

MICHAEL

Summerville, South Carolina

I am not an alcoholic because I drank a lot or often. I am an alcoholic because alcohol was always my solution and never my problem. I come from a good family with two loving parents and a large and attentive extended family who gave me everything I needed and more. The cool guys and the pretty girls were drinking, so I took my first real drink at 13 so I could fit in. I thought drinking would make me the person I wanted to be and transport me to the places I wanted to go. Drugs came into the mix and in a few years, I became a thief and a thug. I was violent and destructive. During this time, the best way to build me up was to tear you down.

JOHN

Big Lake, Minnesota

My drinking got me kicked out of school; it got me into trouble with the law; I was put on proba- tion; I was court ordered to counseling and I was fighting constantly with my parents. I hated what I was doing to them and I loathed what I was doing to myself, but I didn’t know how to stop.

JAZMINE

Nashville, Tennessee

I grew up in what today’s society would call a normal family: my parents were divorced and my whole family got together on the weekends to drink. I was 13 when my family decided I was old enough to drink at family gatherings. That soon escalated to me being out all night partying with friends. I was the first one to start drinking and the last one to stop, at least from what I could remember. At school I was a straight A student, president of Future Business Leaders of America and on the cheerleading squad.

GEORGE

Castro Valley, California

For as long as I can remember I tried to control my surroundings to change how I felt. I was given support and opportunity but as a kid I experienced a nagging sense of “I’m just not good enough” or “everything isn’t OK.” People arguing or fighting made me feel anxious and shut down. I desperately wanted people to like me and get recognition for being a good person. Finding alco- hol was a savior — I loved being drunk. It was a pressure relief valve for my head and allowed me to not be as concerned about what I thought you were thinking about me.

MYTHS and MISCONCEPTIONS

I can’t be an alcoholic, because I can’t drink too much. I get sick.

You’ll see some of our stories in this pam- phlet are about young people who kept on drinking even though our stomachs pro- tested. We too are alcoholics.

I can’t be an alcoholic, because I can drink a lot. I never get sick.

Some of our stories in this pamphlet are about young people who had large capaci- ties for alcohol. We are also alcoholics.

A.A. members want to drink all the time. They’re miserable and grumpy.

Some of us are very comfortable not drink- ing. We also have a lot more fun than we ever had before.

WHAT HAPPENED

 SARA

Once I started drinking, I couldn’t stop. Before long I was jobless, homeless, lost my car, my fam- ily wasn’t speaking to me, I was arrested multiple times and I had court cases pending. I also lost custody of my daughter because child protective services deemed me an “unfit mother” due to my inability to stay sober. I walked into an A.A. meeting completely broken; I sat in the back and cried. I was desperate for a different way of life. A lady came up to me, put her arm around me and handed me a piece of paper with her phone number on it. Every person I met in A.A. treated me with the same caring demeanor as she first showed me. I now realize that my higher power needed to let me become completely broken so that I would be able to fully surrender to the pro- gram of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today, that lady is my sponsor.

AMANDA                            

My probation officer was tired of my complete disregard for my no-alcohol clause. I knew I was headed for serious trouble but I needed to drink more than I  cared about that. I  found  myself in places I never thought I’d go, with people I never thought I’d be with, doing things I never thought I’d do. There was a day that I couldn’t find any alcohol. I woke up in a sweaty panic and went outside in my purple cloud pajamas. I must have looked like a lunatic. I don’t know what I was looking for outside but I knew I needed alcohol. It was a beautiful morning. I was sick.   I had no money. I had no friends left that would give me alcohol or money. I sat on the curb with my bare feet in a gutter and had my first spiri- tual experience. I realized I needed help. I was a pathetic shaky mess at 17 years old with a child I couldn’t care for. Something had to change. I went to my probation officer and asked her for help. She offered me rehab. I  took the offer.   I was first introduced to A.A. in there. Rehab helped with a lot of my past trauma, but coming out, I still had a reservation. I thought I could control a legal drink better because I wouldn’t have to hide it. This thought would cause me to relapse until I was 21.

SASHA                                  

I wanted to stop drinking, but I didn’t know how to live without alcohol. I felt that I had nothing to live for if I didn’t have alcohol in my life. It wasn’t until the end of my first semester, freshman year of college, that I started to believe I had a prob- lem with alcohol. I met a woman at a group that my friend and I had started on our college cam- pus. It was a young person’s A.A. meeting. This woman had over a decade of sobriety. When she shared at that meeting, she amazingly told my story, told how I felt on the inside, without even knowing my name. I asked her to be my sponsor.

We started working the Steps. I struggled with the first three Steps; I didn’t know what it meant to be powerless and I didn’t believe in God. My sponsor explained to me what it meant

to be powerless. Once she gave me a clearer explanation, I knew I was powerless: I have no control whatsoever when alcohol enters my body. As for this Higher Power the Steps talk about, I was raised Jewish. Sure, we believe in God, but I was confusing religion and spiritual- ity. It was explained to me that religion and spirituality are two different things. Today, I do believe in a Higher Power that I choose to call God.

MICHAEL

My behavior became very antisocial and disturb- ing to everyone around me and I was sent to a psychiatric institution for evaluation. My parents, teachers and the police wanted to know what kind of mental illness or brain damage I had. After a few days, I went into withdrawals and started having seizures and hallucinations. I was convinced that I had lost my mind and for the first time I was scared to death. The doctor told me the good news was that I wasn’t crazy but I definitely had a drug and alcohol problem.

Since the hospital was not a treatment center, I was sent home after detox. Before leaving, a nurse gave me an A.A. meeting schedule and said there is evidence that this A.A. thing works for people like me. I had never heard about A.A., but after a few days at home the fear and compulsion returned. I was going to drink. I remembered that schedule and found a meeting close to my house. I walked into an A.A. clubhouse, sat in the back and thought I had made a mistake. I was 17 years old. The chairman asked if anyone was celebrating an A.A. anniversary and a very pretty girl a few years older than me said she had been sober two years.

I couldn’t believe anyone could go two years without a drink or a drug. Surely, the A.A. people didn’t mean that these were consecutive years

of sobriety. I stayed through the meeting, even though everyone else seemed much older. They talked about lost jobs, lost wives, DUIs, bankrupt- cies and unhappy children.

JOHN

I walked into my first A.A. meeting when I was 15 years old. I was terrified. Everyone in there was so old — they had to be in their twenties or thirties at least! They offered me some coffee, invited me into the room and then let me be. Nobody got in my face. No one played 20 ques- tions with me. No one confronted me. They just let me listen.

After the meeting they invited me out for cof- fee. I said I didn’t have enough money for coffee and they said it was OK. After coffee they gave me their telephone numbers and told me if I needed to talk, if I wanted to drink, if I needed a ride to a meeting, I could call them 24/7 and they would be there.

I went to meetings for two more weeks, but then I relapsed. There was a fatal flaw in my pro- gram. I was on the 1-1-1 plan: I was going to one meeting, once a week, for one hour.

I came back to the young people’s meeting and told them I slipped. They said what was most important was that I was there and to keep com- ing back. No one shamed me or blamed me.

Unfortunately, I discovered I had another fatal flaw in my A.A. program — I wasn’t willing to give up the faces and the places. I thought I could hang out with my old friends, go to the old par- ties and not drink. That lasted for two weeks and then I slipped again. I thought I had hit bottom, but then I found out the bottom floor has a base- ment.

JAZMINE

It did not take long to start getting brought home blackout drunk, getting arrested and ending up in mandatory 72 rehab holds for public intoxi- cation. As time went on my weekends got lon- ger and my charade at school got shorter, until four months before graduating I dropped out. Within a short time, I was drinking every day and kicked out of my house. I tried living on my own for a while but was unable to pay the bills. I moved to Tennessee to live with my dad and had every intention of staying sober, which proved to be impossible. I pulled the same stunts as before and this time ended up in jail for thirty days. When released I was court-ordered to attend

A.A. meetings. At the beginning I attended these meetings just to get a sheet signed. How could   I stay sober — I hadn’t even celebrated my 21st birthday?

GEORGE                              

I mastered the art of being the person I thought you wanted me to be. I played varsity sports, was in the marching band, got good grades yet also brought vodka to class in plastic water bottles and parked off campus so the school sheriff and his canine friend couldn’t search my car. Booze gave me courage to talk to girls and relief from my mind. It also resulted in some close calls — passing out in a bathtub half full of water after a formal dance, falling asleep at the wheel with my car running, to name a couple.

“Partying” in college accelerated my alcohol consumption and trajectory toward Alcoholics

Anonymous. I was stealing from my family regularly, cheating on schoolwork and develop- ing a habit to a medicine not prescribed to me. Relationships were failing, I was failing. All light and happiness were shaded out by intense loneli- ness. A year after graduating I found myself in an apartment that had its power cut off. By then I didn’t have the power within me to continue the way of life I was living, but didn’t know how to stop. Out of ideas, I finally reached out for help and told my folks most of what I had been doing and reluctantly agreed to go to a meeting.

The miracle of identification happened that day. I was given a Big Book and asked the man who spoke to be my sponsor. I stayed sober for a few weeks but my experience has been that my ego recovers quickly, and in no time, I was a self-proclaimed genius of A.A. literature and of the Steps (which I hadn’t yet worked). The next time I was passed a beer, I had no defense against drinking it.

MYTHS and MISCONCEPTIONS

If the party is a real success, then naturally nobody can remember it.

Most people do not have blank spots in their memory, or “blackouts.” Getting this wasted is not normal, and blackouts are a symptom of alcoholism.

A.A. makes you give up drinking for the rest of your life.

A.A. doesn’t “make” us do anything, and we don’t swear off drinking forever. We just stay away from one drink — the next drink

— for one day at a time. Just for today, we’re not drinking.

I’m a bad, weak-willed drinker.

We learned that alcoholism is an illness, not a moral weakness. Like most other illness- es, it can strike anyone. Alcoholism can’t be cured; it can only be arrested. Instead of taking medicine, we participate in the A.A. program.

WHAT WE ARE LIKE TODAY

 SARA

My dad, with 29 years of sobriety, said “There’s only one thing you have to change, Sara, and that’s everything…” And that’s exactly what I did. I changed people, places and things. I was terri- fied of sobriety; I hated myself for the wreckage I had caused. I was scared of A.A. meetings. I was scared of having a sponsor. I was scared of the idea of a Fourth Step. I was scared of being lonely. I was scared I wouldn’t have any friends. I was absolutely terrified…. My dad said, “So do it, scared.” For seven months now, I’ve been doing it scared. In my seven months of sobriety, life has still happened: my boyfriend and I broke up, my best friend relapsed, my A.A. dad passed away, my mom had open heart surgery, I was hired and fired from a new job. Consequences kept catch- ing up to me. But I maintained sobriety through all of that because I used the tools that A.A. has provided me.

Today I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a good job; I own a car, I am able to have visita- tions with my daughter, and I have a huge sup- port system of sober friends from A.A. With five months of recovery I was elected as the General Service Representative of my home group. Today, I am highly involved in A.A. Instead of focusing on the differences, I see the similarities with other A.A. members. I have a long journey of recovery ahead of me, but I thank God I’m no lon- ger where I used to be.

AMANDA

Fortunately, I found YPAA (Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous). I was able to see that the party didn’t have to be over and I could still have a great amount of fun in sobriety, without all the trouble and insanity that came with drinking. I’ve had more fun in sobriety than I ever did drinking. I learned that I could be young and sober at the same time. Really sober. I didn’t have to wait until I was 40 or 50 years old.

I had zero life skills when I got to A.A. I now have skills to live life. I’ve built a career in sobri- ety and built sweet, lifelong relationships. The Twelve Steps and my sponsor helped me to become a woman, a mother, and a friend. Being young and getting sober is a brilliant experience and I have grown up in A.A. I have had the honor and privilege to celebrate 10 years of continuous sobriety.

SASHA                                  

Today, I have no problem saying, “My name is Sasha, and I am an alcoholic.” Today I realize that those are some powerful words, and for me when I say that, I am admitting that I am power- less. Today, I have a beautiful life: I have amazing friendships with people. I get to be of service inside and outside of the rooms.

MICHAEL

I came back the next night and started going to a meeting every night. I heard the comments that I hadn’t hit a low enough bottom and the jokes about older members spilling more liquor than I ever drank. My sponsor helped me see that my thoughts and actions were insane. The drugs and alcohol never once made me a better person or took me anywhere worth going. I had stopped dreaming of the future because I truly thought I would be dead before I was nineteen.

The people in A.A. taught me to be a friend, then a son and a brother. They taught me to be a student then an employee, and later, an employer. With several years of sobriety, I became a hus- band then a father. My life has been filled with purpose and today I know joy and peace. I have not had a drink or a drug in 24 years.

JOHN

I went back into the rooms of A.A. with renewed vigor. I was willing to follow directions. I put aside my half measures. Members in my home group suggested I get a sponsor and so I did. I asked my sponsor how many meetings I should go to a week and he replied, “How many days a week did you party?” I told him every day and he said, “Well, there’s your answer.” So, for my first 365 days of sobriety I went to 365 meetings.

Today I try to give back what was so freely given to me. I remember what it was like com- ing into my first A.A. meeting. How different I thought I was from everyone else. How fright- ened I was and how accepting the other A.A. members were of me. I remember how they

loved and accepted me into sobriety and today I try to practice their example in all my affairs.

JAZMINE                             

Things weren’t always easy while getting sober, life still happens. But when things got rough, service work would always pop up in my face. One of the most rewarding experiences in my sobriety was serving on the host committee for the International Conference of Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous (ICYPAA). I now know that as long as I have service commitments to keep in the middle of this program I’ll keep coming back. I currently serve as the District Committee Member of my district and Alternate Secretary in the area to which I belong. I cannot wait to see what else sobri- ety holds — and as long as I don’t forget where I came from, God willing, I will find out.

GEORGE                              

A few days before my 23rd birthday I finally conceded to my innermost self that I was out of answers. I was given the gift of willingness and as a result of doing the work in the program one day at a time my life has transformed and been given purpose.

Our local Young People’s service committee has helped me learn about our Traditions and see how big the Fellowship is. General service has helped me see that no one person is more important than another and that we are all equally responsible for being caretakers of the program. Today I get to learn about myself and practice being authentic. I’ve found that now is never too young to get sober.

MYTHS and MISCONCEPTIONS

 A.A. means people telling me what to do.

To join A.A., all we had to do was decide we wanted to be members. No forms to sign. No dues to pay. “The only require- ment for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” We also found there are no musts in A.A. People give us suggestions on how to stay sober, which are based on their own experience.

For those of you who may be unsure if you, too, are an alcoholic, here’s a Score-it-Yourself Quiz

 (There are no right — or wrong — answers, but if you’re really honest, this quiz might help.)